Most are well aware of this by now, and they’re not giving gifts this year or are sticking to a Secret Santa/Gift Exchange system. That’s great, but there are a few people who should receive gifts, no matter what:

• Kids 

• Those who make the bulk of their living from tips, like hairstylists, manicurists, newspaper delivery people, maids, nannies, babysitters. According to survey data, hairdressers make about 42% of their income in tips on average. Barbers make $1 less per hour, on average, than a hairstylist does in base pay, and tips account for about 21% of their income. Manicurists earn an average 67% of their income from tips. Both massage therapists, who make an average base of $33 an hour, and estheticians, who make a base $15 an hour, receive between 19% and 22% of their income through tips.

• Newlyweds (ahem, kidding!)

Am I forgetting anyone?

Consider this:

Q: You’re posting photos from your holiday party, and there’s a less-than-flattering shot of your friend, Patty. Post it? And if you do post it, tag her? 

A: I absolutely think photos should only be tagged if the people being tagged a) look their best or at least not their worst; and b) are not doing anything illegal or anything they wouldn’t want one of their Facebook friends to see. Nowadays, moms and great-aunts are signing on, so Patty doing a kegstand might be a somewhat controversial sight when it pops up on her profile page. Of course, people have the option of de-tagging themselves, but by the time they get to it, the damage may have been done. If it’s not a great picture of the person, should you post it at all? If it memorializes a particularly wonderful moment or if it’s the only group-photo of a group that rarely gets together ….. if there’s something overarchingly redeeming about the picture, post it. If it’s one of three similar shots, don’t even think about posting it.

Bottom line: Post and tag with tact and with caution. If there’s any question, wait half a day and see how you feel when you come back to it. And as always, with any etiquette question, ask yourself: If the tables were turned, what would you want them to do? 

The Vows column is one of the first articles I read when the New York Times is delivered on Sunday. I first noticed when I was in the middle of writing The Long-Distance Relationship Guide how many of the couples featured in this column were long-distance for some portion of their courtship. It was one of the things that convinced me there was a market for the book—and convinced me LDRs have happy endings more often than people think. All of this made our inclusion in the column quite a thrill. We were in the Kauai, Hawaii airport the day it was published, on the first leg of our long trip home to Philadelphia. The end of our honeymoon! I sucked up the $9 price tag and bought a copy—I had to, right?

[illustration by Beto Alvarez, staff artist at the Philadelphia Inquirer]

This illustration of my husband and I is on the front page—above the fold!—of the Image section in the Philadelphia Inquirer today. It’s so funny to see cartoon versions of ourselves. Up top is a close-up of us, sitting on a park bench to indicate that we have finally achieved geographic nirvana, and below it is the illustration in context.

The reporter interviewed me because I wrote a guide to LDRs and because I’m a former LDP (long-distance partner). The topic: how the rising price of fuel is affecting long-distance love.

Here’s a link to the Inquirer piece, and one to a similar piece that was in the Washington Post two weekends ago. They did a good job of hitting the transportation puns—”An Airfare to Remember” and “The Toll on Long-Distance Love.”

• “Oh Behave, Petiquette,” in Blueprint magazine
• “Long-Distance Love: The Rules,” in Happen, Match.com’s online magazine
• “Survive A Summer Separation,” in the Washington Post